We'd always go into it blindly

https://youtu.be/_mDxcDjg9P4?si=3jpFp96wJN6fTFld


 Foreseeing the end is something that always happen to me when I go into some new situation. It's comforting to me that I already know how things will turn out, but it ruins the surprise. I knew from the very first moment, the very first heartbeat, the very first "hi", the very first "you're so funny", the very first "you look so good today", the very first "I listened to this song and immediately thought of you", the very first "I saw this and it reminded me of you" that I will fall head over heels for you but I never expected it to be that fast. This isn't the only thing I predicted, I also know that this thing will be the death of me, it will shatter me into million pieces and if I was lucky enough to survive it, I know I will never be the same. I'm on the verge of losing my mind and I hope it's not showing. 

I pray every time we talk that you will be the exception to the rule, you'll prove my prediction wrong; I never wanted to be more wrong about someone.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Old habits die screaming?

https://youtu.be/e_msRq3c1z8?si=WNMhLdnko3Tbna28 Some people burn bridges easier than others. Some people cut ties just like cutting butter. Some people forget things like they never even existed. Some people walk out at the first glance of disrespect or unappreciation. Some people don't let themselves create memories that might glue them to places they want to flee. Those people are me.  Force of a habit, I bolt. Force of a habit, I never let go. Unexpectedly, all of that has changed. Now, I want to stay, and I want to work things out. Now, I care about someone else's day even if mine was shitty. Now, I truly listen to someone else's story with a never seen before enthusiasm. Now, I want to let go of my strictly obnoxious control. Now, I want to build the bridges up from the ground. Now, I want to hold my horses and give you time to figure your shit out and decide on your own that this is something you want to jump on board with and I don't care if it happens in a week...
Read more

Bonding?

  https://youtu.be/nnX1Xz1pHUM?si=yZWYzE2INv8y_We4 Yes, people bond through trauma, but they do that subconsciously. You don't choose someone who's traumatized because there's something wrong with you, in fact, you're trying to protect yourself from any future possible danger because when you're traumatized, you don't always seek empathy from others, but you seek full understanding and who can understand what you've been through more than someone who's been there too!  You might think that they will know for sure what it feels like to be put in a traumatizing situation because they walked in your shoes before and so you will be safe UNTIL you find out that you're not on the same page regarding past trauma and both of you didn't walk out the same door. Your trauma made you defensive while theirs made them viscous. Now, you're running away again but only this time, with more fears, triggers and determination to be defensive, with less trusting ...
Read more